The Path of What Ifs and Maybes

I am not the kind of girl who will live with 'what ifs' and 'maybes'. 

If you only knew, I could not live my childhood wondering how does it feel to pick wild berries in English countryside. I also couldn't stand thinking about spring, how does it feel to see the first flower buds in the year? How does it feel to feel the rain pour in your face after a gloomy long winter?

Then when I grew older, I could not live my teenage years wondering the true color of autumn in Paris. I kept asking my self, does the falling leaves smell like the grass after the rain? How does it really sound under your every steps? Does the river Seine flow slowly like the way couples walk in its bank?

I bet you know that I've accomplished my dreams because I hated having them did not come true.

And then I met you. 

And then I fall for you.

And suddenly I walk in the path of whatifs and maybes.

But it feels just alright. This kind of uncertainty that usually killing me feels just alright this time. 

Maybe because there is you. Maybe because I walk this path with you, and time feels so simple. Really simple, as our laughs when we ate those wild berries we found in the edge of the streets, or as our steps under the same blue umbrella when it suddenly rained, or as our fight when we were stubborn to humbly compromise.

Maybe because, when I am with you, what matter the most is now.

So that even though sometimes I indeed ask myself how will it end, but all I find is just silence, it also feels completely right.  

For how long? 

I honestly don't know. And maybe I don't wanna know.

I just remember this words somebody said: maybe it will take a lot of patience and a whole of faith, but it's worth the wait. 

Will you wait?